A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the ...

Two hunters from Alabama are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He does not appear to be breathing. The other whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps ...

A man travelling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies ...

A young lady got into a terrible car accident. Her face was burned terribly. The doctors couldn't use any skin on her body to graft onto her face for reconstructive surgery. As a result, her husband ...

One evening, a young man was surprised to find that his bar pickup line had worked and that he was headed to his new companion's apartment. During the drive she explained to him that she was going to ...

The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at
thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Pope
out of the corner of her mouth, "I bet you a tenner that ...

Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa can I have some beer too?"
"Can you ...

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.
The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I`d like to give you a second chance rather than ...

A married couple were lying in bed one night.
The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, as the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over ...